Thursday, June 27, 2013

Growing Older

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.  This summarizes how I felt lately!

.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while  .. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so, but I know I better.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes or raisin bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

5. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.

6. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

7. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

8. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

9. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

10. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

11. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

12. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

13. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

14. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

15. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

I needed to "lighten the load" today and this was my way of doing it.

Got any good ones to add to my list?

Ed Winkle



3 comments:

  1. I probably have a couple sayings squirreled away somewhere for a rainy day, but let's just concentrate on yours today. Wisdom, like fine wine, deserves to be savored!

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  2. I had a couple of "God things" happen to me yesterday so it really paid to "lighten my load." Thank you, Lord!

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  3. Ed thanks for posting - Sometimes we need too think about other things than just "growing the farm" or money....I think as we age a we all ponder the future more. Some have said that the reason Church has many more old people than young as the old are getting closer too there final exam .....When I feel "down" I spend some time with the young granchildren as they always make me smile- kevin -ontario

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